greetings, finally.

starting a new bloggggg, its harder than i expected. its awkward. its getting a new notebook, cracking that never been open spine and staring at this blank canvas. pages and pages of it. of nothing. of possibilities! but its overwhelming. and im put into this disgruntled state of panic. so many ideas, so much to say, to tell, to show, and to share! it scares me to the point of avoidance and i keep my distance but all along planning, taking photos, recording ideas, here and there. but never quite getting myself in front of the screen. saying, tomorrow, or when i finish this painting, or when ive uploaded so and so photos. gah! i am the the most procrastinating of all procrastinators! i have been putting off starting up this here new blogyblog for too long (by the way, i hate the word blog. i preferred the term online journal which was regularly used less than a decade ago. remember livejournal? omg, diaryland. i had one of those. im sure its all still out there, floating around in the interworld. anyway, ill have to adapt i suppose, to the new technology and its terminologies)
other than me finally getting over first page awkwardness, i cant quite put my finger on what my problem is. im not one to hate excuses, so my excuse will be my lack of internet service at my fingertips. thats not the best of excuses, because literally, at my fingertips, i have a blackberry. i have an excuse for that one too. i hate writing on my blackberry. those tiny keys, the weird, incomplete version of the interweb. i love my blackberry, i really do, but i have limitations. no writing of more than one paragraph on the blackberry! drives me nuts! plus i cant upload photos! ugh! my love/hate relationship with technology becomes very apparent on a daily basis.
so the point to all of this, my ultimatum i gave myself was JANUARY 31!! if i do not seriously start this dang thang by then i will put it out of my mind and just resort to some boring/lame/unappealing form of communicating and sharing with the world outside of san diego (ahem, facebook) which i really did not want to resort to.
alright, here i am, and i have gotten thorough this awkward first stage of starting something new.
hooray!