ive been slacking quite a bit with the blog, as usual. its currently storming in richmond. its been raining since i returned from my trip to new york on thursday night (well, actually friday morning) my roommate's dog has been keeping close to me. she likes to pretend she's tough but as soon as she hears thunder, its right by my side all night long! these past few weeks have been overflowing with fun times and excitement, visitors, vacations, and trips! last week ross and i drove up to new york for a short visit after a two day bike ride with 14 friends from richmond to williamsburg, virginia. i somehow managed to catch a cold from the time i left richmond to a few hours later when we arrived in williamsburg. it was a pretty nasty cold and i haven't been sick in a long while so it put me out of commission for all of the fireside drinking and fun-having everyone else had where we set up camp by the river. i still enjoyed the ride, mostly because i was so reminded of my time traveling by bicycle. i think about it every day, how then, each day was something new, something ive never seen before. i keep moving around, from new york to california, back to new york, back to california, across the country by bicycle, back to new york, and then to richmond, where i am now. im always looking for that something new. sometimes i cant understand how some people can just stay in one place but other times i wish that i could find a place that i want to stay forever. i want to find that place, where i feel like i can really root myself into. when i visit new york, i stay at my parents home, the home i grew up in from when i was born until when i moved away for the first time. i love that feeling of coming home, of knowing whats behind every door, and whats in every cabinet. i love walking out the back door and smelling my favorite tree that flowers every year around this time. ive smelled those flowers for so long. that house is home and even after living in california and richmond i still refer to new york as home. i love this feeling and i want my home to feel that way. i want to find where my 'home' will be. i feel so torn between a life of deep roots or a life of scattered wildflowers that grow and bloom and are beautiful, they are easily ripped from the ground but their seeds go where the wind blows them, so they can grow again in another place. the wind doesnt blow the tree from its space, it cant be torn from the ground easily. alright, now im getting too metaphorical here. metaphors and similes. i cant remember the difference between the two. one day ross and i will have a home. its what we both want. we just havent found it yet. for now, we are content living the lives wildflower seeds. home is where ever we are together.

1. 2. mothers day! a perfect day to relax outside and hang out with mom and grandma! the trees in the back yard make for fun pictures. trees/plants are possibly my favorite subject, other than food.
3. a trip to new york would not be complete without spending time in bellport village, and having a bluepoint toasted! with becca!
4. also would not be complete without an egg everything bagel (with veggie cream cheese! ross got spinach onion)
5. the most amazing smelling flowers. when they bloom you can smell them throughout the whole house so my mom always keeps the doors and windows open this time of year.
6. french toast made from easter bread, which is an egg bread so it makes the best french toast!
7. fresh pedicure and emmie the old dog. she is 15 years old!
8. 9. making sauce, meatballs, and home made fettucini with mom


not giving a fluck

fluck: short for flying fuck
tonight i sat on the roof and read a book.
its that jonathan safran foer book, eating animals.
ive been thinking about dog eating ever since i started it.
i think about dog eating every time i see my roommates dog.
this will make sense if you have read the book or you are now thinking that you want to read the book or i am a bit odd or the book is a piece of trash. it is not.
also, tonight, i watched old no doubt videos.
i thought i was going to watch them and be all like, 'oh my, these were so great, looky at these, weren't the 90s crazy' but i was disappointed and let down and was not nearly as excited as i thought i would be. those songs are way better without their video counterparts.


cut my bangs back.
staying up late is fun again.
these two things are unrelated.


i can not wait to wear long skirts/dresses all summer. unfortunately, its hard to ride a bicycle wearing such an outfit, but ill have to find a way. gas prices are outrageous. and i love riding in the heat (cant say the same about the cold). there is really not much necessity for a car in richmond, at least where i live. anything you could need is a bike ride away. i do enjoy having a car though. when i lived in san diego i was vehicle-less and it was fine. there were times when it was a bit annoying. like when i bought new pillows. very awkward getting on a bus with 5 pillows...
since this post was originally about how much i love long skirts, and 'fashion' oriented, ill add that i finally purchased a pair of those super bold printed pants that h&m has had for many months now. i will be wearing them every day. like when i was a little girl. if i had an outfit i liked, i would wear it every. single. day. i remember specifically a pair of floral printed overalls, or shorteralls, cause they were shorts. also, a pair of leopard print PIPPERS pants. if you are from bellport, new york or surrounding towns you are probably the only ones who know what that means but looking back, they are curiously similar in style to the pants i got today. i guess my style hasn't changed much.
i will now retire to my cozy bed, because i recently got a used copy of the golden compass and cant wait to leave present day planet earth and travel to lyra's oxford.


outdoor living

I live in a house! My own house! Well, ok, I rent it, and I have two roomates but it's our house! Spring is finally here and hopefully staying because I cant handle any more cold. This will be my first summer in Richmond and from the rumors, or plain old fact, I'm kinda in the south and that means hot hot hot. and humid. I'm preparing for these days, for I dont like spending summer indoors, in the heat or the ac. I have a tiny backyard but it's a cute little space. Ross and I have been slowly cleaning it up on warm days, collecting and transplanting plants and grass from the fields and woods across the way. I have grand plans for two things, actually three. A patio, a hammock, and a teepee! Unfortunately I dont have room for all three but I can still dream. One day I'll have a big backyard with gardens and fruit trees, and all of those previously mentioned things, but for now a decision must be made.


capitalism is a bummer

isnt it funny how humans have become so accustomed to having everything at their fingertips. if you need light, flick on the switch. if you need a lightbulb because yours has just burned out, go to your pick of a grocery or even an everything store, target, walmart, kmart. while your there pick up some laundry detergent made thousands of miles away and some fruit from another country. stop at a starbucks on the way home and get a cup of coffee, complain to your friend of how much it costs, and never even think of what it took to get that bean from the ground to your mouth. or how little the farmer who grew those beans were paid in comparison to the profit starbucks is making on your ability to not function without coffee. i can buy a palm tree at any home improvement center even though i live in a four seasoned climate. something has been lost along the way, over the years. the value of commodities has been reduced to nothing but a price tag. selfishness has become a norm. if you want it, you can have it, as long as you have the money. i dont always think this is a bad thing. i find it quite accommodating sometimes. i dont know the first thing in making light bulbs, or anything but an idea of how to roast coffee . this system allows us to have luxuries beyond our knowledge. but i think this is where the problem lies. we ourselves dont really know much of anything. my generation is proficient in googling. im not preaching some sort of doomsday 2012 situation, or awaiting the end of society as we know it, but if there ever were to be a catastrophic event, most of us would be pretty fucked. we rely on the internet for our information, the grocery store for our food, and bottles for fresh, clean water. i wish more people could look beyond a price tag, think about where things came from and what it took to get it to them. maybe then we could see the true value of things, and realize how many of the things we take for granted every day are really luxuries.
i think i do a decent job at living my life to the ideals i have. i can do better though. i should probably stop complaining and making whiny blog posts. im just in a shit mood and would like to talk up my mood with words of inspiration on how i should change my life for the better. blah blah. i think ill just go eat something yummy and take some photographs of the lovely changing clouds.


nothing inspires me lately.
maybe wild cats and natural hair.
and boats. and houses by the sea.
i miss the sea. the ocean.
i wish i had ramen noodles.
oriental flavor.


i was going to make a post about today. today is a special day, a day to remember. the 26th of march. the day ross and i left san diego on our journey by bicycle across the country to long island. i see that ross already wrote a post about it while i was at work and it pretty much sums up everything that i wanted to say. it made me smile and also made me tear up. i think bittersweet is the word ross used and it is best way to describe my feeling toward the trip. it was so incredible yet it is sad to think it is in the past. sometimes i think nothing will ever be as great as those 72 days. even the bad days. but thats not the case, and there are so many things which we plan to and will do in our lives which will be wonderful in their own way. their own adventure, big or small. i use the word adventure a lot. it is probably one of my favorite words. its a word that say if i were to, and i would never sum up my outlook on life in a few words, but if i did...adventure would be in those words. life is an adventure. whats the point if every day is predictable. tiny adventures make all the difference. giant adventures make me feel certain that i am truly living life to its fullest.
i came across this post on tumblr a few days back and would like to share it. it is called symptoms of inner peace. i wish more people would consider this and apply it to their lives.

Symptoms of Inner Peace:

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A loss of interest in judging other people.
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of other.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of the ability to worry.
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen

now i am going to enjoy my evening off, and turn up the heater because it is cold again. i thought spring was here but winter had to give us one more weekend of indoor activity. its alright, because im in the mood to sew some things and drink some wine.
also, i learned from one of my favorite
blogs how to put music in my post so heres my favorite song of the moment/past month


I have been thinking of maybe starting a new blog. it will be called something along the lines of, YOU KNOW YOU WATCH WAY TOO MUCH LAW AND ORDER WHEN... or CRIME DRAMAS HAVE OFFICIALLY TAKEN OVER YOUR LIFE IF... and every post will contain REAL LIFE scenarios where i think crazy, and completely improbable things are happening. example: the other day i get into my car. its early. no ones around. I'm looking over my shoulder. i get into the car. drive away and, OH MY! WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SOUND COMING FROM MY TRUNK. its a body. its a person. still alive? is that weird sound them trying to get out!? this is what runs through my mind for the first few seconds. oh and then i realize i have a tent in my trunk. and a bunch of pots. that would be whats making this sound which i so clumsily mistook for a BODY, for a second. this happens often. mostly with bodys. These are places which when i am in them, i often think to myself, omg i hope i don't find a DEAD BODY. woods, swamps, any alleyway, dumpsters, bodies of water( no pun intended) inconspicuous vans, empty houses of people i don't know well, motels, public bathrooms, at night, and there are more. i assure you. hopefully this will be as entertaining to others as it is to myself.
also i should add: it came to my attention through watching law and order, that if a, hmm, detective, ever came a knockin on my door, wondering where i was four nights ago between the hours of 827 and 1101pm i wouldnt have a damn clue. i write all that sort fo stuff down now. rest assured, i have all of my alibis in place :):)