weareallsosmall

today i returned back to richmond from a little holiday vacation to long island. i wish it could have been longer. it left me with a feeling of longing, but not sure what for. a feeling that i'm missing something here in richmond. its so lonely to me here, but not in a peaceful kind of way. i'm laying in my bed with my new computer in my lap. i love and appreciate this convenience. its keeping me warm but not too warm. my bedroom is my favorite place in richmond. i love its scratched doorframe and chipped moldings and the wooden floorboards which creak and i love sliding my feet on them. its bright and keeps me feeling safe and secure with its tall boxy walls and i feel comfortable always but the windows are always there for me to see outside, to escape if i want, to see the world outside. i miss my parents already and i miss my dog a lot. all of my feelings are so strong and multiplied because i have pms. i wish this didn't happen but at least i understand why i feel the way i do.

there is a dull pain in the back of my head, its been there for a few days. i want sleep. it surprises me how i am not tired, as i usually am. i'm a tired person, which i don't want to be. i wish i could stay up for a day, or until the night ended its cycle of darkness. i never put up a fight with sleep. i let it take me so easily.